Ides of March

First blog of March, and I think it’s time for a life update! A lot of stuff has been happening in my life and things have been changing, but at the same time it seems like nothing is happening and life is moving in slow motion. I’ve really just been trying hard to balance all my emotions and desires and actions with each other and seek God while doing so; it’s been a challenge. So, to make this less painful for you, the reader, I’ll divide this blog into sections.

1.Emotions.

I really want to make a pie chart here. If I find that it’s possible, it’s totally happening. (Look for it in blogs to come.)

B.Desires.

Since I have been so blessed to be a bridesmaid many times over, my sister is going to be so blessed to receive those dresses, instead of having to buy new ones. That being said, the dresses need a little work so that they look more prom trendy than bridesmaid chic. I’m pretty excited about expanding my sewing skills through this larger endeavor, but I have to make time. I’ve got one dress pinned up and planned out, but no sewing has been started; I also have a Christmas present (don’t judge) to finish sewing and mail too. I want to work on this every second of every day. Sewing is such a release for me.

I am also extremely desirous of starting a painting project for one of my favorite professors. Pretty sure that won’t get underway until Spring Break though because it’s going to be thought and labor intensive (pictures will come when I finish). Get excited.

I want to go to the beach soooo badly right now. Alas, my spring break will not be spent on the sand, but in a germy Dr.’s office. Blek.

And lastly, I want to road trip to see people I love and miss dearly. There’s a whole heap of them though, and I’m sad to report that this desire is most likely the one that will be neglected. (Until post May 15, because as of today, there will be an “exclusive friend group” [at least in part] reunion in FL)

3.Actions.

I have almost finished writing my research paper due Wednesday.

I have thought about writing my midterm due Wednesday.

I have completely ignored studying for my midterm Thursday.

And then the Actions that don’t make me want to roll my eyes and gag:

I bought animal crackers.

and

Today I faxed my application for an internship at a church in Nashville. It would be for a whole year, beginning in August, and I’m so excited at the prospect. Getting this internship would be step one of my journey to being a grown-up [ish] and that’s pretty cool. However, as excited as I may be, I’m so nervous I could throw up. Trust me, I know God is in control, and He’s going to see me through, I just get self-concious when I feel like people are going to be evaluating my worth, and that’s exactly what this feels like. I can convey my thoughts about literature all day long, but when I talk about myself, I think I sound dumb. It’s okay though because if that’s where God wants me, they’ll love my awkwardness, and if it isn’t then I don’t want to be there. I’m channeling some serious Esther right now; “If I perish, I perish.” I’m going to live and do what God calls me to knowing that if He desires me to do something, He’s going to make sure it happens. So comforting.

I’m sure I’ll post more about Esther later this week. I’ve been reading her and Friday some of the college and career girls from my church got together and talked about her a little. God’s using this story in my life in a big way right now, but if you just can’t wait to hear about it, read this blog to get a preview (Besides that, she’s just encouraging and uplifting to read). Meanwhile, I’d love to hear about your life right now. What’s happening?
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