man getter

this post is going to be a bit off the beaten track; mostly because its central topic is one i’m not well-versed in, but i hope it’s as amusing to you as it is in my head. i’d like to converse with you dear readers on the topic of being a “man-getter” or maybe more accurately, wearing a “man-getter”.

this is what had happened, Sunday morning i decided to wear a dress with boots because it was a chilly morning, and then i added a cardigan for extra warmth. now as my cardigan was oversized and the wind was blowing, i felt it would be prudent fashionable to add a belt on top and thus complete my ensemble. now i have oft admired the belted scarf and belted cardigan looks, but i must confess that this is not something i do on a regular basis. this is clearly the biggest mistake of my single life*.

so there i was warm yet wintery walking into the sanctuary, and as i’m walking up to the door someone remarks on my outfit and tells me how cute they think my belt is. “well, well” i thought, “this belt really was worth that $3 on clearance, now wasn’t it?” and i continued on my way. again, however, i was forced to pause because yet another (of the male persuasion) said “well, you look pretty today!” [sidenote: this would naturally be flattering except i usually feel that the speaker always puts extra emphasis on the “today” part in this sort of phrasing which renders me incapable of deciphering whether or not i’m flattered or insulted] the other part of this that caught me off guard was that the speaker delivered the compliment with big eyes while pointing at my belt.

i mean, on one hand i get it, belts are usually only used functionally for guys, and my function (stylin’ and profilin’) (no i don’t really know what that means) doesn’t count for them i don’t think.  but i also feel like it’s necessary to say that it wasn’t a super funky belt or anything. it was tan. and slightly brown. like…plain. however, i still got about 2 more manly compliments before the service started. i’m not going to pretend like i get it because i don’t, but clearly the high waisted belt is a man-getter. that being said i’ve found the perfect example to follow if you’d like to try this theory out.

*please know with complete and absolute assurance that my current romantic state is precisely as i desire it, and nothing said in this post is meant to encourage thoughts otherwise. in fact i plan on taking my newly acquired information and restructuring it to maybe try to distract instead of attract. for instance, you see an undesired boy coming towards you with a complete conversation about the weather and your lack of employment, so you wait until he notices the belt and in that first few seconds of bewilderment, you change the subject and then say something about sensing a friend who needs a partner to go to the bathroom, and BAM, you’re free and have harnessed the power of the belt.


1 thought on “man getter”

  1. this is as amusing to me as it is in your head haha. reminds me of the guy at sonic in williamsburg. at least your man-getter persona gets you free snack treats sometimes haha

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