12.27.2010

so if you’ve been with me for any decent amount of time you’ll know that the day after christmas last year i went to brazil. it was an amazing trip, but probably the hardest thing i’ve done in my life because of what the Lord taught me while there. i journaled on that trip because i like to write and i know how memories work; to remember accurately i would need proof. tonight i decided to read through that journal, honestly a little apprehensive of what i was going to find. what i found though, was conviction. serious and overwhelming conviction. but also a lot of truth and beauty.

i decided to share some of those things. i know it’s ridiculous, but i’m kind of afraid of doing so (like i’ll probably schedule them to post at like sunrise, so only people who truly want to read my ramblings will ever know they’re here), but again with the conviction, i know that i experienced those things and that season for a purpose, so who am i to say sharing isn’t what it is?

this is the first i’ll share. i was still journey-ing at this point; i remember actually looking our the window while writing this on the plane at 30,000 feet.

the way i see it, life’s kind of like the clouds and the sky and the plane flying through them. it’s so calm and flat, so indiscernible. you know there are things beyond the clouds, but all you can see is the flat expanse of the heavens. serenity–if you let it be–if you don’t project panic into it–if you don’t let your fear strangle the awe out of it. then suddenly and almost without warning you dip past the clouds. the ambiguity disappears and is replaced by innumerable shapes and colors and textures. things were happening there all the while, yet you couldn’t see any of it. if you’re patient, if you let God reveal Himself to you in the silence and solitude, He will eventually let you see the orchestration. He conducts so beautifully.

 

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One thought on “12.27.2010

  1. Jenna,
    Truthfully, this is so beautiful and touching – it brings tears to my eyes. idk – I think God just spoke to me. I love you and thank you for sharing this.

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