You guys… i JUST found this draft…and since i wrote it 8 months ago, i decided to post it? oops.
Sometimes I forget that other people don’t actually live in my head; therefore, I forget that I have to sometimes give an audible voice to what all those other voices in my head have been saying. Buckle up.
If you’ve been with me, I regret that some of this will be repetitive, but this sweet little blog started as a means of pacifying madre with a means of communication as I traveled solo to Macedonia to do 10 days of missions my sophomore year of college. In college it was a means of clinging to all the wonder of the Victorians and newly found lifestyle blogs and friends living hundreds of miles away. Post-college it was just plain cathartic; I didn’t even care if not one other soul ever perused; it was mine.
This past year, it was hard. I rarely felt inspired. And in the few times I did, I struggled to communicate anything in a way that was satisfactory to my own expectations or really in a way that communicated anything at all. I wanted to blog. I wanted to love blogging. I wanted to love the freedom of pushing “publish”. But I didn’t. And I couldn’t. Sometimes life-change is hard.
I’m not really sorry for any of that. In fact, I don’t even think I’m sad about any of it. It’s not like I didn’t do things, meet people, or have fun, but I just felt so devoid of energy whenever the time came to write that I couldn’t. It’s unfortunate I suppose, but such is life. Moral of the story, don’t let life suck the creative energy from you- even if all you’re creating is mediocre updates for your mom and 4 friends who also blog.
And as a lovely little post-script tid-bit: I spent the last year interning at a church that I love claiming as my own with a supervisor/mentor who is brilliant and loves the Lord in all things. I read a lot. I met A LOT of people. And I experienced a little more of the fullness of God that comes from aligning your character with Jesus’.